I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
