dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
