Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

My friends, they love my intelligence

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(418): View more from Quebec

I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate

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(317): View more from Indiana

I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex

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(805): View more from California

We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.

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(480): View more from Arizona

I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch

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(578): View more from

You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"

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(208): View more from Idaho

Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics

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