So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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