The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
