I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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