Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
