He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
