I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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