Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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