try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
