He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My dick has a subreddit
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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