Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
