We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
