Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
