I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
That accounts for only three of the penises
We were destined to go to rehab together
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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