somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
