Where is the hickey?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
