Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
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