the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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