The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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