I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
