he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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