So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
