Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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