So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize