You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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