He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
