I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
