we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
