You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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