office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Randomize
