you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
