Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize