What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
