I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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