Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize