Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Randomize
