awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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