butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
