Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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