my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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