next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
