I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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