does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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