i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
