if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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