i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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