you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
