I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
