the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
