just come out here and I will go home with you...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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