And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize