Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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