I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
