And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize