dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
