i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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